Reflection

I have officially been in college for over a month now, so I took some time to reflect upon that. It still seems a little surreal to me that I am now in the midst of the thing that I dreaded for so long. It has definitely been a trying time so far, but I have been learning from it.

I was at the youth group meeting that I attend this past Thursday and the pastor was talking about freedom and how we have the freedom to do what we want to do or to follow God. What he said was good and all, and it is probably new for a lot of the people there, but it's not something that I haven't heard before. However, in the middle of his sermon he veered off a little bit and started telling the story of how the Israelites were brought out of slavery into freedom with Moses and the whole red sea deal. He was explaining this story in great detail and I was getting a little impatient because he kept going on and on and I'm thinking "who hasn't heard this story at least 6 1/2 times?", but then he made this one comment about when the Israelites were on that middle ground between leaving Egypt and getting to the promised land. He made the point that when things got a little rough that the Israelites were immediately ready to turn around and go back to Egypt where they had been comfortable. He was basically just reiterating the fact that choosing the path of following God isn't always easy. He then continued on with the rest of what he had to say, but I stayed there.



I began to compare myself and my situation to the Israelites. I started with comparing Norwalk to Egypt, not because I was enslaved in Norwalk, but because I was comfortable there. This transition has been a hard road and there have been times, especially within the first 2 weeks, that I just wanted to throw in the towel and go back to Norwalk where I was comfortable. I knew how the story ended with God being faithful to the Israelites, so I figured that my lesson to learn from this was that God is faithful, and though the road may be long and the journey hard He will bring me through. That is where my thought process ended during the meeting.



After the meeting when I got back to my room I decided to skim over the chapters in Exodus that contain the story just to confirm to myself what I had been thinking. As I was skimming the chapters I found myself getting a little annoyed with the Israelites. They were continually questioning why God had brought them out of Egypt anytime they got a little uncomfortable. They got a little thirsty so they started questioning God's motives, then God provided for them. Then later on they get hungry, again question God's plans, and again God faithfully provides for them. This process happens a few more times and I found myself really getting annoyed and wondering "When are they going to get it? When are they going to realize that God is going to be faithful to keep His promises and meet their needs?". Right after that it sort of hit me in the face. How many times through this journey have I asked God, "why did you bring me here?, why do things have to be so hard?, and when are things going to get easier?". I have been acting just like the Israelites. God has never let me down. He has continually been faithful and whenever things get a little bit hard I immediately start questioning His plans.



The realization of that just totally rocked my world. I can't believe how I've been acting. I immediately felt the need to repent for my actions. God has continued to be faithful; it's me who hasn't held up my end of the bargain and totally trusted Him. This past month has definitely been a process of learning to trust God and be patient waiting on His timing. I am still on that middle ground between Egypt and the promised land where there are struggles and hard circumstances, but I am choosing to no longer act like the Israelites. I don't take my relationship with God for granted, so I will trust God's plans for me without question because I know that His plans for me are great, and better than anything I could ever come up with.



My trip so far has been quite uncomfortable, but if that's what it takes for me to learn this lesson then I am thankful for it. I'm quite sure that my struggles are not ever yet, but in the midst of them I can look forward to the lesson that will be learned from it and God's continued faithfulness.